There's a way.

I read your blog to lean English.

突然で大変失礼ですが、
I want to get feedback from you.

My bf said me
"Let's get married!
because we are adult and we started to live with.
so we have to get married."

But I said him "No, I don't want to!"
because I don't want to get married yet.

If we got married, I should do many things
for example...
I should change my name. I don't want to do!!
I should make his family a top priority than my family on some events.

I don't like those!!!
I rally don't!!!

And I'm a just gf now. so anyone don't say anything about us.
but If we got married, I think his relatives say something about us.
for example...
I don't keep house well.
I don't save time of my work.
I don't want to have babies yet.

I just feel contented now.( I don't know how to say that "今のままで充分満足してる" )
I can't get why I should get married...
but should I get married someday???

I think those thing every day...
How do I do??? :'-(

Hi, Emi-san!

The below is the address of an English chat group I happened to find on Macmillan Online Dictionary.

http://speaking24.com/index.php

I think most of the members are non-native speakers who just wish to learn English like us.

I never tried this kind of group, but as for Skype, I've installed one 6 months ago and it works great! It's easy to use, and save your money and time.

I hope you find the info helpful!

Best wishes,

Kim

Only the site author may read the comment.

> I read your blog to lean English.

Thank you! I don't think I can help you with my poor English, though...
I'll do my best to share my opinion with you about your situation!

> My bf said me
> "Let's get married!
> because we are adult and we started to live with.
> so we have to get married."
> But I said him "No, I don't want to!"
> because I don't want to get married yet.

May I ask you two things?
First of all, how long have you lived with him?
If you have lived with him for over one year, I guess it's about time for somebody to think about getting marriage. I think your boyfriend is a lovely person. He seems to take any responsibility for you to show his true mind.
Second, how old are you if I may ask?
I got married at the age of 28. My mother did young, so she kept telling me that women needed to take some time to make up their mind because their lives sometimes would depend on their husbands. I met some men when I lived a single life, and I decided to get married. I'm quite happy with my decision now.

> If we got married, I should do many things
> for example...
> I should change my name. I don't want to do!!
> I should make his family a top priority than my family on some events.

Well, it's up to you! You'll know it.
There are various marriages in the world, I suppose you won't have to change your name, your place to live, your way to live if you really don't want to. But you know what? Those change doesn't have to with yourself, actually. Even after changing your family name, you can be as you are. Changing your name is a trivial thing, I might add. Don't worry too much!

> I don't keep house well.
> I don't save time of my work.
> I don't want to have babies yet.

Who cares! Don't worry!
I'm not good at doing the dishes, doing the laundry!
No matter where you are, there are always someone who makes a complaint.
It doesn't matter whether you're married or not.


> I just feel contented now.( I don't know how to say that "今のままで充分満足してる" )

You can say, "I'm happy as I am."
This line comes from the movie "Anne of Green Gables."


> I can't get why I should get married...
> but should I get married someday???

You shouldn't.
But you will find something beautiful that you won't get when you remain single.
I think, this is not the right time for you to get married, maybe.
In one of my favorite novel, "Anne of Green Gables," Gilbert waited for Anne for over four years! He just waited and waited, and they got happy life.
If your boyfriend really likes you, I guess he can wait for you....

Hi Kim! You're a wonderful person! I'm the luckies one who have you as a friend. Thank you for your information! And I'm happy to know that you're a member of Skype! Can I ask you your name on it? One day, I'd like to talk to you...

You do, too? Wonderful!
Your suggestion sounds nice! I'm going to use Skype for only studying English, though. Which means, I don't want to use Japanese there... Does it work for you?

>First of all, how long have you lived with him?

we spend with so long time. about 12years. I mean we have just date we didn't live with.
so we live with only 2weeks.

and I'm 30s.

>There are various marriages in the world, I suppose you won't have to change your name, your place to live, your way to live if you really don't want to.

but woman have to change the name if she get married in Japan right?
or boyfriend have to change if she didn't change.

>But you know what? Those change doesn't have to with yourself, actually. Even after changing your family name, you can be as you are. Changing your name is a trivial thing, I might add.

I know that this is me if I changed my name.
but I don't like to only woman have to change so much.
the name, census register, style of life...
why only woman have to do those!!!

and I think we can spend with forever if we didn't get married.

I don't know when I want to get married...
I don't know I don't want to that forever or not...

I see... I guess it might be the right time for you to make up your mind as you mentioned before. I think your boyfriend cares about you so much, and he really wants to take any responsible. On the other hand, you're not ready to get married.
I know some couples live happy together without getting married. If you are truly interested in those way to live, why not ask your boyfriend so? If he doesn't want to leave you, I guess he'll be with you. I don't feel anything special about chenging things, so maybe I'm not the right one who can give you useful tips...sorry....

Thank you for your write so kindly. thank you so much.

I said him I don't want to get married many times before. but he said me "lets get married" this time.
I thought he understand me. so I really surprised...

I'll think so much...
Thanks.

I see... Have you discussed what made you stop thinking about getting marriage like the way you've already told me? He might not understand what you want to have in the future. Did you show him your reasons, such as "I don't want to change my name." or "I'm not good at doing the chores." or "I need to be free."?