There's a way.

　行きつ戻りつ .... back and forth

I visited Alison this morning, and we spent about an hour speaking English. It was a very rewarding time as usual, but actually I couldn't enjoy myself because of my poor English. I couldn't come up with some appropriate words and expressions, so it took a while to express myself. I'd say I felt like I was in a slump.
Sometimes I feel my improvement, but most of the time I end up losing my confidence in my English. Do I have to admit that that's the way it goes? They say our language abilities go back and forth. That is, if we give up struggling with something we aim at, our trip will be over without any satisfaction. All right, then, I don't have a choice. I hate giving up trying before facing the consequences.